


It Was Enough

by cxtstiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Aromantic Castiel, Aromantic Dean, First Kiss, First Time, Frottage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 04:36:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4652466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cxtstiel/pseuds/cxtstiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester loves Castiel, but he isn't in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Was Enough

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing anything even remotely porny so please forgive me.

The first time that they kissed, the world didn’t stand still. There were no fireworks, no imaginary sparks, no sweaty palms. The world didn’t end, didn’t stop spinning, didn’t switch on its axis.

 

The first time that they kissed didn’t feel like the beginning of some incredible, life changing experience. The first time Dean kissed Castiel, it felt inevitable. Dean knew he was going to end up here, eventually. Dean wasn’t scared of how he felt, or rather, didn’t feel for Cas. He knew he was attracted to him from the moment Castiel had crashed into the small barn in Pontiac, Illinois. Dean didn’t have some big gay panic over wanting to fuck his best friend, who happened to be trapped in a male meat suit. That wasn’t what made him put it off for years.

 

Dean wasn’t in love with Castiel. Dean loved Cas, sure, but he wasn’t in love with him. Dean’s stomach didn’t flip over at the sight of Cas, Dean didn’t get stars in his eyes, he didn’t momentarily forget how to think straight at the sight of Cas.

 

Castiel was Dean’s best friend, next to Sammy. Dean loved Castiel in the sense that he loved having someone who understood him. He loved him in the sense that it was nice to have someone to kick back with, watch a movie, drink a beer, and joke with. He loved him in the sense that fucking him would be great, but it wouldn’t mean anything bigger than that.

 

-

 

The first time that Dean kissed Castiel, it was after eating breakfast in the bunker’s kitchen. There was nothing special or out of the ordinary, just another day. Dean had started his day at eight in the morning and was looking online for the next dick bag they could kill. Cas had expressed interest in drinking coffee until his insides burnt, staying in the bunker and watching a movie, or crawling back into bed and burrowing under the covers.

 

Dean had smiled at that, laughing to himself about the fact that this Cas, newly human after forfeiting his grace to save the world from darkness, was worlds away from the Castiel he had first met. Dean abruptly stood up, empty plate in hand, and placed a chaste kiss onto Cas’ lips. He didn’t linger, instead choosing to walk to the sink and begin washing. He wasn’t nervous, his breathing regular, and head clear.

 

“What was that for?” Castiel asked, scooting out of his chair and coming to stand side by side with Dean. “Not that I didn’t appreciate it…” he continued after Dean didn’t respond.

 

Dean looked up and smiled at Cas, before responding, “I don’t really know, man. It suddenly just hit me, I’m just really glad you’re here,” Dean started, maintaining eye contact throughout the exchange. “And I wanted to kiss you.” He finished lamely.

 

“Okay.” Castiel said, before smiling and leaning in to kiss Dean again. Dean put the now clean plate into the drying rack and angled his body towards Cas in order to deepen the kiss.

 

After several minutes of being pushed against the counter uncomfortably by Cas’ fuckin’ death grip, Dean pulled away to ask, “D’ya wanna take this to my room, Cas?” His voice was husky from over exertion.

 

Cas released his hold on Dean and turned away, making his way down the hall towards Dean’s room. Dean had laughed and rubbed a hand down his face before following suit. One of Dean’s favorite things about Cas was that he was always straight to the point, never bothering with small talk.

 

When he entered his own room, he found Cas lying on his back with his hands entwined behind his head. His shirt and pants were both off, leaving him in a simple pair of Wal-Mart brand boxers and socks. Dean shrugged his overcoat off before leaning down to take Cas’ socks off.

 

“Nothin’ sexy about keeping your socks on, Cas.” Dean said, looking up to meet Cas’ stare. Castiel was tracking his every movement with curious eyes, doing absolutely nothing to hide the tent in his boxers.

 

Dean crawled up the bed and hovered over Cas before smiling and leaning his head down to kiss along Cas’ jaw. He used his mouth to explore as much of Cas’ tanned neck as he could, before using his hands to push Cas’ face to the other side, exposing more skin. Dean shifted his hips to align his dick against Cas’ and let out a puff of air against Cas’ neck at the friction.

 

Cas grunted and bucked up to meet Dean half way, turning his head to capture Dean’s lips with his own. They kissed and rutted against each other for several minutes before Dean finally pulled away from the kiss and began working his way down Cas’ body.

 

Cas was breathing irregularly, short puffs of air leaving his mouth in between deep inhales. Dean started with Cas’ clavicles, pressing open-mouthed kisses along them and sucking greedily. He used one hand to keep his balance, placing it next to Cas’ head, and the other to thumb over Cas’ right nipple. Clearly, that really got Cas’ going, because he gasped loudly and pushed Dean onto his back. Cas paused to pull his boxers down before aggressively motioning for Dean to take his own clothes off. Dean got as far as lifting the hem of his shirt above his head before Cas flew into action, pulling Dean’s jeans and underwear off in one movement. Cas grabbed ahold of Dean’s midsection, squeezing tightly at the extra layer of fat on his sides, and guided him back to the center of the bed.

 

Once Cas got goin’, he didn’t stop. Cas’ hands were immediately all over Dean’s exposed skin, not knowing where to touch first. He sloppily kissed along the red mark across Dean’s stomach that was left by his too tight jeans. Dean blushed and moved to brush Cas away from the area, but Cas growled and thwarted Dean’s attempts. He continued licking and kissing along the mark for a while, longer than Dean thought was strictly necessary, but just as Dean was about to try and push Cas away, Cas quickly looked up. He made sure to hold eye contact with Dean for a beat, before sucking Dean’s dick down in one go.

 

Dean choked on his own spit and pushed the upper half of his body off of the bed before slamming back down, hard. He looked up towards the ceiling and let out a breath before saying, “Jesus, Cas, warn a guy,” laughing to himself.

 

Cas hummed in response and continued to lick and suck at Dean’s dick with more enthusiasm than Dean has seen from him since he was still an angel, smiting motherfucker’s left and right.

 

Dean had lost himself in the sensation of Cas sucking his cock, moaning pornographically, but his attention was regained at the first press of Cas’ finger at his hole. Dean groaned loudly and opened his legs further, giving Cas the go ahead to get things going. Cas used his spit mixed with Dean’s precome as lube for the first two fingers, before Dean had enough sense to pause to reach into his night stand. He fumbled around for a minute before palming his bottle of lube and throwing it in Cas’ general direction. He heard the click of the bottle opening and the gust of air that puffed out of the small container, followed by liquid.

 

Cas rubbed his fingers together, warming up the lube, before pressing two fingers back in, making a scissoring motion. Cas was deliberately avoiding Dean’s prostate, causing Dean to grunt angrily and try to switch angles. Cas pushed down on Dean’s hips and said, “Be patient, Dean.”

 

After Cas sufficiently opened Dean up, he turned to bite at the inside of Dean’s thigh and suck harshly, before adjusting to a kneeling position, lining his dick up perfectly with Dean’s hole. Before Cas could start pushing in, Dean backed up on the bed and turned onto his stomach, arching his back and wiggling his ass invitingly. When he didn’t feel Cas moving back into position, he turned his head and lifted his eyebrows questioningly.

 

“Feels better this way,” Dean started, backing up to slot Cas’ dick between his ass cheeks. “Trust me on this one, man.”

 

Cas tilted his head defiantly, before lifting his right hand and smacking it across Dean’s ass, effectively shutting him right the fuck up. Cas used the same hand to spread Dean open, before finally, _finally_ , pushing in. It burned at first, but this wasn’t Dean’s first rodeo, so he knew there was always a little pain before the pleasure.

 

Cas pushed into Dean slowly, making sure to massage Dean’s back to soothe him, which was fan-fuckin’-tastic. After several achingly long seconds, Cas fully immersed himself in Dean, and when Dean lifted his hand and made a vague ‘hurry up’ gesture, prompting Cas to pound into him at a brutal pace. Dean does his best to meet every thrust, but ends up sinking down into the bed, desperately rubbing his dick against the sheets.

 

Cas didn’t seem to show any signs of slowing down or changing pace, so Dean knew that this is going go be over sooner rather than later. He managed to lift his lower body up enough that he is able to snake a hand underneath his belly and around his dick, pumping in time with Cas’ thrusts.

 

After several minutes of Dean hanging on by a thread, he finally let himself come with a loud gasp. Cas starts making all kinds of pretty sounds, moaning and cursing like a fuckin’ sailor, before pulling out and turning Dean over onto his back.

 

Dean’s entire stomach is sticky from his own come, and before he can complain about being pushed into the wet spot, Cas is fucking into his own fist, rendering Dean speechless. Cas was always gorgeous, but this was somethin’ else. His hair was sticking to his forehead with sweat, eyes closed, lips parted, and cheeks pink.

 

“C’mon, Cas. Come for me, buddy.” Dean says, keeping his eyes on Cas’ face as it contorts into complete concentration, eyebrows furrowing and nose scrunching up. After shallowly rocking back and forth a few more times, his rhythm began to falter, as he came onto Dean’s stomach. He continued to loosely fist his dick and pumped a few more times before opening his eyes and smiling down at Dean. He collapsed next to him on the bed and took a deep breath.

 

“That was… nice,” Cas said after thinking for a moment. He wiped the sweat on his forehead off with the back of his hand before sighing and leaning over the bed to grab his shirt from the floor. He tossed it over to Dean, silently telling him to clean himself off, before grabbing it back and quickly wiping off his own dick. He throws it back onto the floor before turning over to cuddle against Dean.

 

“Is this okay?” Cas asks, looking up at Dean.

 

“Yeah, man, sure,” Dean replies, bringing his arm over Cas’ shoulders and squeezing him in tighter. “I just uh, don’t really want to go any further than this, you know?”

 

Cas blinked twice before looking down at Dean’s soft dick and then back up to his eyes. “I’m not sure there is any further to go?” He says, somehow managing to tilt his head even though he’s lying down.

 

Dean laughed, before replying, “I mean the whole love… and… uh, love… thing,” he starts, trying to find a way to express what he’s thinking. He closes his eyes and uses his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. This was always the worst part for Dean, trying to explain that he was never going to love someone back. He knows that he has a lot of love to give, but most people want more than he has. Normally, Dean would try to avoid the topic for as long as possible, always fearing the inevitable ‘you’re broken’ speech.

 

To Dean’s surprise, Cas scoffs and cuddles closer. He inhales through his nose and says, “Dean, I know, and you are aware of how much I value our friendship.”

 

Dean opens his eyes, looking down at the mop of hair on his chest. “I mean, like, ever. I’m not ever gonna want to be more than, y’know, this,” he says, motioning between the two of them with his hand.

 

Cas sits up and fixes an exasperated glare on Dean. He sets his jaw angrily, which makes Dean want to fuck that look right off of him, despite his soft dick limply hanging between his thighs.

 

“I know,” Cas says, pausing between each word to ensure that Dean understands what he’s saying. “I’m not ignorant, I’m well aware of the fact that you don’t wish to enter romantic relationships.”

 

Dean smiles, feeling relieved, and pretty damn lucky if he’s being honest, before asking, “You sure, man? That’s cool with you?”

 

“Yes, Dean, that’s cool with me.” Cas replies, and Dean can sense the mental air quotes around the word cool. “I’ve been alive for way longer than you could even fathom. I find absolutely nothing wrong with a lack of romantic attraction between to sexual partners. I am more than happy to be your friend, and to fuck you senseless as often as possible.”

 

Dean lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, before saying, “All right, all right, I get it. If you’re sure…”

 

Cas angles his head downwards, looking at Dean like he would smite him if he still had the ability. Dean laughs and sits up, pulling Cas forward and crashing their lips together once more.

 

After a relatively chaste kiss, Dean pulls away and claps his hand on Cas’ shoulder, saying, “I don’t know about you, but I’m fuckin’ starving again.”

 

Dean uses the hand he already has on Cas’ shoulder to push himself up off of the bed, walking over to his dresser and grabbing two clean pairs of boxers. He throws one back at Cas as he pushes his legs through the each hole, pulling them up and snapping the elastic against his stomach, causing his flesh to bounce once before settling over the waste band. Cas picks the pair of boxers up from where they landed on the floor and dresses himself as well. Cas mimics Dean’s actions by snapping the boxers against his hips as well, eliciting a laugh from Dean. They walk back to the kitchen, already arguing over who is going to be able to eat more food.

 

-

 

Cas remained Dean’s best friend, and they would talk about their next hunt while Dean’s dick was buried in Cas’ ass. They would make fun of each other’s attempts at dirty talk. They would moan too loud, much to Sam’s disappointment, and laugh even louder. They would continue their lives as they always had been, killing things that go bump in the night and fucking furiously after a particularly close call.

 

The first time they kissed, the world didn’t stand still. No one’s heart beat out of their chest, no one confessed their undying love for the other, no one lost themselves in the throes of passion. Nothing big had changed, nothing life altering or earth shattering. But it was enough.


End file.
